Farting Aint Sexy
CODY- CHAPTER THIRTEEN
Sheriff McGregor approaches my cell, looking angrier than before. “If I could get away without letting you have your damn phone call I would. But according to the law, I, unfortunately, have to.”
“Sir I don’t know what Paige has told you, but I’m not getting married to anyone.” “Save it for your attorney. I’m not interested in the BS coming out of your mouth.”
Bob opens the jail cell and allows Cody to step out. “You only get one phone call, so you better make it a good one.” Pointing to the phone hanging on the wall, “Go on now, I don’t have all day to wait for you to figure out who in the hell to call.” Cody picks up the receiver and dials the only person that can make this right.
The phone rings once, twice, and just when he was going to give up, “Hello?” “Sir, it’s Cody Dalton. I’ve run into some trouble in Alma, Missouri. I need your help.” Major Tom was completely silent on the other end of the line. “Hello Sir, are you still there?”
“Yes, I’m still on the line. Son, how in the hell did you end up in Alma, Missouri? I thought you were supposed to be getting your head straight, not exploring backwater towns. What is it you need help with?” “Sir, I was arrested, and I need your help to get out.”
A loud expulsion of breath is heard over the line, “Well if you’re in jail in Alma, I guess I’ll have to call up my old buddy Bob McGregor. Is he still the sheriff?” “Yes sir, I had gone on a date with the Sheriff’s daughter and wound up in here when we had an argument.”
“Sounds like you’ve got a real shit sandwich in a town with no bread.” “I guess that’s one way to put it, Sir.” “I can probably guess what happened to get you locked up, but I’ll expect a full briefing when I get there Dalton. Do not engage, I repeat do not engage in any further dialogue unless absolutely necessary. You got it, soldier?” “Hooah Sir.”
Well compared to some of the hell holes I’d been in, this was friggin’ club med. Deputy “Dan”, barely out of the academy, wouldn’t know what to do if I really wanted to escape. I’ll just lay low, take a nap, and wait for the cavalry to show up.
Entering the Alma Police Station, Tom Bowie looks around and walks up to the counter. “Ma’am, I’m here to see Sheriff McGregor, we have some business to discuss.” Maggie holds up her index finger, “Just a sec, I need to grab the phone first and I’ll be right with you. Please have a seat and there’s fresh coffee on the end of the counter.” She points him toward the coffee and turns to grab the phone.
Busting out of his office, Sheriff McGregor throws his hands up in the air. “God Dammit Maggie, where in the hell are the keys to my cruiser?” Maggie pauses and puts her hand over the receiver and whisper yells back, “I don’t know Bob, maybe if we didn’t have a regular revolving door of people coming in to see you today, you’d remember where you put your keys.”
Hearing someone clear his throat he turns around, “Tom? Tom Bowie?” “Yes, Sir, the one and the same.” Reaching to shake his hand, “What the hell brings you into my station today? What’s it been ten, fifteen years?” Tom chuckles, “I think it’s been close to twenty. How’s Delores and your girl, Paige is it?” “Oh, Delores and Paige are doing good best I can tell. You know women, they never say how they really are, you’ve got to guess half the time. Most of the time, I guess wrong.
Paige had a little run-in this morning with some fuckin’ out-of-town asshole. Had to haul his ass down here to cool off.” Tom looking somber, “I wonder if you’ve got a minute. I need to talk to you about that asshole.”
Going back into his office with Tom in tow, Bob motions for him to have a seat on the other side of his desk. “Bob, I know you have Cody Dalton in lock-up and I’m here to ask you to release him into my custody.” Pursing his lips, Bob takes a long breath and stares at Tom considering his offer. “I might consider releasing him into your custody if you can make sure he leaves town. I don’t want him coming back into town and bothering Paige.”
“Bob, Cody is good people. He’s had a rough patch that nearly got himself killed during a mission a few months back. He’s supposed to be getting his head back on straight, so he can rejoin his unit.”
“Tom, Paige seems to think that Cody is supposed to get married in a couple of weeks to some girl in Kansas City. Do you know anything about that?” Tom raises both his eyebrows, “Well last I heard, Cody had asked a girl to marry him but there was an accident. You might have heard about it. This past March, his fiancé was in the wrong place at the wrong time and she was shot in the head. She died at the scene in Prairie Village.”
Recognition dawned on Bob’s face. He remembered hearing about the incident. Some kid looking for some cash to feed his habit stole his Dad’s gun. He had killed his hostage and then he shot himself. “I can see by the look on your face that you know what I’m talking about. Well, that girl killed in the attempted robbery, she was Cody’s fiancé. He’d only been engaged a little over a month when it happened. Poor kid blames himself because he wasn’t with her.”
“I’m hoping you could see your way clear to just release him to me, so I can get him back on his feet. He needs a reason to live and getting him back with his Special Forces family will do that. You know as well as I do that a record will be career ending for him in the Army. Dalton is a real pain in my ass, but the kid’s got real talent in the field. I don’t want to see his career slip through his fingers.”
Bob expels another loud breath, “Well I guess you could say we have some extenuating circumstances regarding Mr. Dalton. I can’t say as I blame the kid for losing it. I don’t know what I’d do if I ever lost Delores. She’s my moon and stars. I suppose I could release him without creating any record if you take full responsibility for him.”
“I’ll do you one better, I’ll take him back to my ranch and make him do some hard labor to work off some steam until he can rejoin his unit. I appreciate you working with me on this. I wouldn’t do this for just anyone. Cody is someone worth saving.”
“Hey, sleepin’ beauty, time to wake up. You’ve made bail.” Cody sitting up, runs his hands up and down over his face, wiping away the sleep from his eyes. “Hey, kid, didn’t they train you not to sneak up on a Special Forces soldier? That is if you don’t want to live to talk about it.”
Cody gives him his military game face, but he can’t help himself, he starts softly chuckling. “Had you going there for a sec didn’t I. No, seriously, don’t ever do that again.” The poor kid still wasn’t sure how to take Cody and started backing away after he unlocked the cell.
“I’m just fuckin’ with ya, what’s your name?” “Name’s Pete.” “Ah, Pete, you wouldn’t be the Pete related to Betty who owns the diner?” Pete tips his hat, “That I am, that I am.” Cody chuckles to himself remembering that Paige had referred to him as Betty’s idiot nephew.
Great, I’m surrounded by idiots and a pissed off Dad with the power to shoot me. “I thought you were the cook over at the diner.”
“Yeah, I was until too many people complained and my Aunt Betty fired me.” Thank God he wasn’t cooking last night. I would hate to add food poisoning to my adventures in the last twenty-four hours. “Well, it looks like you rebounded. I would imagine being a deputy only enhances your chances with the ladies.”
Pete shakes his head, “Yeah, you’d think it would but not in this podunk town. Hell, I’ve known all the available women in this town since I was in diapers. It’s hard to come across like you’re in control and mysterious when they’ve seen you running around trying to light your farts at a bonfire.
Cody gives him an appraising look, shaking his head back and forth, “Yep, I don’t profess to know a lot about women but what I do know is farting aren’t sexy. Especially for women, you want to get naked with.” Pete gestures for him to walk toward the door, “Well let’s get you out of here before Sheriff McGregor changes his mind.”
“Dalton, you look like crap son.” Walking up to Major Bowie to shake his hand, “Sir, if I might say how lovely you look today.” Chuckling, “Well Cody, what do you say we get you out of here?” “Sir, I’d like nothing better. I need you to take me over to get my bike.” Tom looks over at Bob and he nods a silent affirmation.
“Well son, the sheriff is going to deliver your bike to my ranch later. I had to promise to keep you away from his daughter. It’s the only way he’s releasing you into my custody today.”
