Survival Tip: Never Announce to a Woman’s Dad You’re Taking His Baby Girl Home
Cody – Chapter Six
I watch in awe as Sheriff MacGregor turns a self-empowered sassy woman instantly into a twelve-year-old preteen in under a minute. Paige stumbles off to the kitchen to find cherry pie and coffee for her Dad. I sit here wondering if he will be as good at interrogation as Rhonda. It’s hard to admit, she was damn close with some minor points in my background but was completely wrong on the major ones. I want to keep my past close to the chest until I get to know Paige better.
Peanut doesn’t know it yet, but this cagey looking fella is going home with her tonight. I need to employ some of my MDMP Special Ops training on this situation with her Dad. The way I see it I have two maybe three scenarios to win over the Sheriff and get the girl. First scenario I turn on my good ole’ boy charm and wave around my special forces ring, Hooah.
Scenario two, thank Sheriff MacGregor and his wife for creating this fine sexy woman that I will have the pleasure of making scream later. Yeah, I don’t see that working out. Most likely this scenario would end with Paige’s Dad reaching over the table and choking me to death.
Ok Cody, focus. Well hell, scenario one it is. I pull my elbows up on the table and clasp my hands together making sure that my Army ring is proudly displaying the crossed arrows. With my right eyebrow raised in anticipation, I wait for the IPS (i.e. important police shit) to begin for my second round of interrogations today. The way my hands are sweating now, you’d think I had done more than just think about throwing Paige over my bike and showing her my night stick. Aww Geez, it’s been a while since I’ve been sitting in front of a uniformed interrogator. Thankfully this isn’t my first rodeo with this type of bullshit.
“So, rumor has it you’re Paige’s Dad and the Sheriff around these parts.” “That’s right, I’m the law in this town. That woman you’ve got your sights on is my little girl.” “Sir, I have nothing but dinner on my mind right now. My stomach is about to eat itself and Paige was kind enough to recommend a place to eat and offering some company during dinner.”
MacGregor’s face is unreadable, just a stone-cold stare across from me.” “Listen here, what was your name again?” “Cody Dalton, Sir.” “Listen here Cody, Paige is special and my only kid. Now I’m not saying she can’t make her own decisions…” “Well then Sir, what are you saying?”
MacGregor’s cheek muscle is twitching and showing the beginning of his irritation, so I best throw more charm his way. “I’m just saying that when a guy pulls into town on a bike from nowhere and is cozying up to my daughter, I’m gonna have something to say and I will ask some questions.” “Sir, I’m an open book, ask away.”
While moving my hands around, I can see the exact moment he recognizes my Special Forces ring blatantly on display. “That symbol on your ring, I’ve seen it before. A buddy of mine from High School enlisted after graduation and he ended up running a Special Forces Team.” “This buddy of yours have a name sir?” “His name is Major Thomas Bowie. Retired here in Alma after his thirty years of service. Tom runs a cattle ranch south of here and supplies Betty with the best grass-fed beef in the state. Would you happen to know Major Bowie son?”
Do I know Major Tom? Hell, yes, I know him. Son-of-a-bitch nearly got me killed in Iraq. “Sir, I served under Major Tom during his last tour before his retirement. So, this must be the little back-water town in Missouri the Major kept going on and on about.” Sheriff MacGregor relaxes somewhat knowing that we have an acquaintance in common. “You must be that young punk that just about got him killed in Iraq.”
“Sir, that’s not how I remember that story.” “Well that’s how ol’ Tom tells it. I guess you won’t mind then if I call him up and get a personal reference on your character. I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit here let you get involved with Paige without checking you out first. I need to know if you can be trusted with my baby girl.” I look up and see that Paige has overheard her Dad’s last statement. I would not want to be on the other end of that look of fury she has right now.
“Daddy, what in the hell is going on here? Here’s your damn pie and coffee.” She slams down the plate of steaming cherry pie ala mode and Rhonda, with eyes bugged out, is right behind her with a fresh cup of black coffee. Did Paige just stomp her foot? “You have no right to interfere with my date.” Ok, we are now on a date. Nice. I look up into Paige’s face and give her my lopsided grin. She needs to save all that rambunctious energy for later when I get her alone. Rhonda nervously pipes up, “Now Paige is that anyway to talk to the Sheriff?”
Livid as all get out, I can see Paige visibly shaking and liquid pooling at the corners of her eyes. “It is, when the Sheriff is my meddling father! Daddy, if you want me to ever talk to you again, you best get back into your squad car and go do what the citizens of Lafayette county pay you to do. Don’t make me call mama.” Mrs. MacGregor must be a force to be reckoned with. I’ve never seen anyone’s face become pale as fast as her Dad’s face just did. His demeanor has immediately changed from tough guy ready to kick somebody’s butt to a man looking for redemption.
“Peanut, honey, there’s no need to get your mother involved in this discussion.” Rhonda is standing there wide-eyed watching Paige and her Dad go at it. She whispers to me out of the side of her mouth, “I’ve never seen Paige defy her Dad like this before. She must really like you.” “Daddy, if you are not going to leave then I am. I don’t have to stand here and listen to you talk about me like I’m a twelve-year-old little girl. I’m a grown woman who can make up her mind about who the hell she’s going to eat a meal with and take home later and do all kinds of unspeakable things to.”
Oh my God, what is she saying? Is she trying to get me shot right here in the middle of this diner by the guy who could easily cover it up. I’ll never be heard from again. I’ll be that guy everyone is searching for at the thirty-year High School class reunion that mysteriously disappeared and rumored to be under deep cover in Russia. Yeah, I’ll be the John Cusack character from Grosse Pointe Blank. But instead of skipping town with the girl, I’ll be in an unmarked grave somewhere in the backwoods.
Ok, calm down now, let’s go to our happy place and focus on the fact that she wants to take me home and have her way with me for a minute. Ok, the minute is up. I scurry out of the booth and raise my hands up in surrender, “Whoa now Missy, nobody said anything about me going home with you tonight.” I start to slowly back away with a nervous chuckle and eyes smiling. Paige grabs my arm to prevent me from moving any further away.
Hell, I think being held down by enemy fire in the sandbox would be a better deal about now. Paige’s father looks ready to taze me. “Mr. MacGregor, I have no intention of going home with your daughter tonight. I just want to put that out there loud and clear.” I look over at Paige and sneak in a right eye wink, but she obviously didn’t see it, “Cody, if I want to take you home, your coming home with me!”
I do like a woman who knows what she wants, but hell I’m not discussing this in front of her very incensed, very armed father who just happens to have a badge and the keys to the jail. “Paige, you’re not helping!” I whisper yell out of the side of my mouth.
From the back recesses of the restaurant the infamous Betty emerges wearing her once white apron that’s now covered in the day’s specials. She wearily wipes her forehead with a clean rag and puts it back in her pocket. “Bob, Paige, do we have a problem here? And who might you be son?”
“Betty, ma’am, everything is under control here, just having a friendly chat with my daughter and Cody, a young man she brought here for dinner. Paige, we will discuss this later. Cody, I’ll be in touch with Tom. He best not have anything bad to say about you.”
Bob MacGregor begrudgingly pulls his sunglasses out of his front pocket and slips them on while staring at me. Just for affect, he raises his index and middle finger and motions them back and forth pointing to his eyes then to mine. What is it with the eye pointing tonight? He picks up his pie and coffee and walks over to the counter where Mary is standing so she can box up the pie and put his coffee in a to-go cup.
“Betty, my father is insufferable. I can’t even have dinner out with a guy in peace. I’m frankly shocked that I didn’t come back to him cleaning his service pistol right here in the restaurant.” “Now listen here baby girl, your Daddy is a good man. Bob’s seen a lot of things that give most people nightmares. He keeps our town safe from crime and free of those who would tear it down. I don’t agree with his methods, but his heart is in the right place. Now for the love of all that is holy, why were you yelling at him in my diner and who in the holy hell are you young man?”
“Ma’am, my name is Cody Dalton. Paige here is helping me out and so I told her I would buy her dinner. I am about ready to faint from hunger. Is there any way to get something to chew on until we can finally order some food? I hear you’re the best cook in town.” I turn the volume up to ten on my southern charm cuz I really want to eat and quick.
Betty’s gaze sweeps up and down Cody and she’s got the beginning of a shit eating grin. “Paige, you and Cody sit back down, and I’ll send Rhonda out with a couple plates of food. I do believe Bob has finally met the one guy that will make it to a second date with you. Kuddos to you son.”
“Betty can you make those plates to-go? We are going to find a place to sit down and eat in private without my father’s informant eavesdropping.” Paige points her thumb over her shoulder toward Mary who is still behind the counter.
“Ok baby girl you follow me back to the kitchen and we’ll get you all fixed up. Dinner’s on me tonight. And Cody, my advice to you, you best eat everything I send with you. You’re gonna need all your strength and wits to deal with the bull-headedness of the MacGregors.” “Ma’am, you don’t have to tell me twice. Much obliged for your hospitality.”
