He’s Just a Big City Boy
Chapter Two – Cody
Crap I can’t be going the right way, I should have run into I-70 by now and I know I’ve seen that same damn road sign to Alma at least once already. I scan the landscape zooming down the two-lane highway seeing nothing but corn, miles and miles of corn and that single white sign Alma- 5 miles. Is this town some sort of modern day Brigadoon? Whose idea was it anyway to take off on the open road without a plan – oh yeah that was my genius idea. I pull over on the side of the road yank off my helmet and throw it as hard as I can into the sea of cornstalks.
“Great – this is just fuckin’ great”. Holding up my phone I turn around in a circle making myself dizzy trying to get just one bar. “Oh Holy hell” I rummage through my backpack looking for the pocket atlas I threw in out of habit on account you never know when technology is going to fail, like now. Missouri, Missouri, Minnesota, Mississippi, here it is, Missouri. I slide my finger down the legend looking for Alma. “Jesus Christ Alma isn’t even on the frickin’ map. Guess I’m taking the scenic route into Alma Missouri. Hope this little podunk town has a gas station and someplace to eat cuz I’ve reached critical mass”. Looking around I see where I threw my damn helmet. Brushing off the dirt, I strap it to the back of my bike. No use putting it on for 5 miles. I throw my leg over the seat and kick the bike back to life blaring AC/DC Highway to Hell. Smiling, I chuckle at the irony.
I pull into town and see the one and only gas station right next to a Methodist church. Smiling to myself, I ride up to the gas pump, flip off the engine, and kick down the stand. I’m about to grab the nozzle when trouble in the form of a gorgeous redhead comes walking out of the station. “Hi there, you must be new in town, we’re a full-service station – you don’t pump your own gas here that’s my job.” She wipes her hands on a rag and stuffs it into her pocket “Sorry ma’am I didn’t mean to upset your system. Can I get it filled up with regular?”. I know what else I’d like to fill up. Wow where did that come from, it’s been too long apparently. I’m checking her out in her industrial overalls that’s hiding what I’m guessing are some dangerous curves. Smiling, I move to stand in front of her, “I’m not used to someone else pumping my gas. I normally like to be on a first name basis before allowing just anyone to stick a nozzle in my tank.” Chuckling, her green eyes give me the once over and roam back up to my face where they stay as she pulls up the lever and lifts the nozzle from the pump. She inserts the nozzle in my tank quirking up her eyebrow, “Name’s Paige and you would be?” “Cody, Cody Dalton ma’am nice to meet ya Paige….? “Paige – None of your business. Just call me Paige. What brings you to town? I don’t get many strangers through here especially not mysterious ones riding a souped-up Harley.”
“OK just Paige, I hate to say it but regretfully I’m lost and can’t seem to get a signal on my phone to show me the way back to I-70. I figured I’d take a chance and drive into Alma, find some gas, eat, and get a room for the night. I’ve been driving all day and I’ve hit my wall. Got any food recommendations cuz my stomach’s about to turn-in on itself.” To emphasize the point my stomach grumbled loud. Surprised by the outburst, we both start laughing. “Well I’d say your stomach is at def com 1 if that grumble is any indication. “Betty’s Café is the only place in town to get a hot meal. It’s not always a good meal but it’s always hot. Depends on who’s cooking today, Betty or her idiot nephew Pete.” “That’s a catchy slogan, that must get all kinds of people packin’ the place every night.” “Well don’t say I didn’t warn you later when you’re praying to the porcelain god”. “Where would this infamous Betty’s Café be located?” “Well I was just about to close up when you pulled up, I can lead you over there if you’d like since you’re lost and all. I have to go by there on my way out of town if you think you can wait a few minutes or should I say if your stomach can wait a few minutes.”
“Darlin’ I’ve got nothing but time.” Smirking she taps the nozzle and inserts it back into the pump. “I bet you say that to all the girls. That’ll be 25 bucks.” “That’s funny the pump only says I owe 20.” “Yeah well I figure you owe me at least 5 bucks for subjecting me to your witty banter and sexual innuendos.” She winks at me and turns toward the station and starts to walk away, turning back around facing Cody and walking backward “Alright cowboy why don’t you reign in that libido and we’ll settle up inside for the gas.” “Well I guess I better behave myself then.” I follow her into the station and stand in front of the counter pulling out a $20 and a $5. “I was just kidding about the extra five dollars, put that back in your wallet.” “Tell you what, how about I buy you dinner to make up for subjecting you to all this.” I sweep my hands down the front of me with the expertise of Vanna White. She rolls her eyes and sticks her finger in her mouth like she’s going to puke. “I think I just threw up in my mouth a little bit. Where did you say you’re from, Modestville? I’m sure you have women falling all over themselves to hook-up with you with those kinds of pick-up lines.”
She laughs with the cutest little snort. “Feisty I like that. Come on, have dinner with me, you gotta eat and I could use some company. I’ll be on my best behavior, scouts honor.” I place my right hand over my heart and hold up three fingers with my left hand. “This word you say, I don’t think it means what you think it means. She laugh/snorts again to herself and finishes whatever she is doing behind the counter. She gives me an appraising look and expels a breath, “Well you look harmless enough but I’m warning you, I know at least 50 ways to kill you with my pinky if you step out of line.” “I’ll do my best, I wouldn’t want to give you a reason to use that pinky on me.” I wink and give her my panty melting smile and start walking back out toward my bike.
“I’ll just wait out here. I wouldn’t want to distract you or anything.” She shews me out of the station, “I’ll just be 10 minutes tops.” I wait by my bike checking my tires and clean away all the dead bug carcasses from the windshield and hope like hell that Betty is cooking today and not her “idiot nephew” Pete.
